Let’s Talk About It

This post is going to be a little different than my others. Things are about to get very real and I’m going to be very honest and open with y’all. Here we go.

No body really wants to talk about it. A lot of people are afraid of others’ opinions. I have to admit, this post is a little intimidating for me to write. I’m not sure how other people with react or what their opinions will be, but at this point, I really don’t care.

I go to therapy.

There. I admitted it. I go to therapy for my anxiety and I am not ashamed. No, I don’t go in the therapist’s office and lay on a pleather couch and sob my eyes out and admit all my fears and failures and beg for pity from this person. I go to get help. And being the “Leave me alone, I can do it myself” person that I am, it was VERY hard for me to make the decision to go to therapy and seek professional help.

“Well, aren’t you a Christian? If you were really a Christian, you wouldn’t have these issues. You wouldn’t struggle with anxiety.”

Yes, I am a Christian. I love Jesus and I know he loves me and all the anxiety that comes with this package. Does he want me to trust him and give this to him? Yes. Is it hard? Yes.

I trust Jesus and I believe that going to therapy is helping me to love and trust him more.

GOING TO THERAPY IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS! IT IS A SIGN OF STRENGTH AND A DESIRE FOR POSITIVE CHANGE! Thank you. I had to get that off my chest.

“Well, if Jesus really loved you, he would heal you of your anxiety.” – First of all, Jesus loves me and he loves you. Always has and always will. Second, I truly believe God puts family, friends, physicians, therapists, teachers, coworkers, etc. in our lives so that we can grow closer to him. Sometimes, God doesn’t heal us in an instant. He wants to be glorified. I know the kind of person I am. God knows the kind of person I am. I sometimes I don’t appreciate things that are handed to me as much as I should, and God knows that. Maybe the reason he hasn’t taken this anxiety from me is because he wants to be glorified in this. Maybe if he just “handed” me healing, I wouldn’t appreciate it as much, and that wouldn’t glorify him.

I believe God puts doctors, PAs, dentists, nurses, therapists, etc. in our lives for a reason! It’s part of the healing process.

I am beyond thankful that I have found a wonderful PA that listens to what I have to say and who encourages me to get better. I am thankful she suggested therapy. I am thankful for honest framily (friends/family) who have been open with me about their experiences with therapy and have encouraged me about this. I am thankful I have an awesome therapist who, even though I’ve only seen a few times, I can talk to like a friend. I don’t feel that I am being judged. She does not make me feel bad about my anxiety. She is helping me learn how to deal/cope with it in healthy ways. She is teaching me not how to hide it, but how to recover from it. I am thankful for my husband who loves me through this and is helping me during this journey. I am thankful for those who have prayed with and for me. And I am thankful for my God who loves me so, who loves me so much that he placed each and every one of these people in my life so that I may grow in my faith and that he may be glorified through it.

Admitting you need help does not equal weakness.

Let me say it again for those who skimmed over that part.

ADMITTING YOU NEED HELP DOES NOT EQUAL WEAKNESS.

Some people were born knowing how to perfectly handle and deal with worry and anxiety. They face it, they deal with it, they move on. They are on the front lines in battle, racing forward on their horses towards the enemy, weapons in hand, and head held high!

Me. Haha. Me, I was not so fortunate. I’m the little guy who is in charge of watering the plants at the palace, thankful I didn’t get called to battle.

I don’t know how to fight in the war! I don’t know how to handle anxiety! I don’t. I’m awful at it. I’m like Monica on “Friends” when Chandler gives her the “best bad massage award.” I would get the “best worst anxiety coping skills” award. I don’t know how to deal with anxiety!!!

Insert therapy.

Thank the Lord for therapy! Some of the techniques she has suggested have been so easy. LIKE BREATHING! Why didn’t I think of that!? JUST BREATHE! So simple. But, when I’m anxious, all reasonable logic and basic human functions go out the window. I just stop breathing and down three packs of Oreos. I need to breathe and eating that many Oreos is a bad idea.

But that’s how my mind handles anxiety. Or, how it doesn’t handle anxiety.

I need therapy. I am not saying you need therapy. I’m not diagnosing you. I am not a professional. If you feel that you need help, seek professional advice.

I am simply telling you what works for me. And as a Christian woman, therapy works for me.

Sometimes people in churches are afraid to talk about these things. I think church is one place we shouldn’t be afraid to talk about this kind of thing! Some people need professional help and that is totally okay.

I honestly believe going to therapy is part of God’s plan for me. He knows I have no clue what I’m doing. He knows I struggle. He wants to help me. And I believe this is how he is helping me. He has allowed me to be connected with these amazing people. And through them, he is showing me just how much he loves me!

Thank you, God, for being absolutely amazing. You are so wonderful to us. Thank you for all those you place in our lives so that we may grow closer to you. Please give us strength to ask for help, bravery in hard times, and peace each day. Amen.

AMS